Drunken Love
by read-a-holic17
Summary: Set after Linda leaves. Zoe and Ash find themselves in her house after a drunken night together. What will happen next? To me these two are perfect for each other. Please read this! Thank you so much for the reviews, they are really appreciated! DISCLAIMER: I do not own Casualty or any of the characters in Casualty, all rights to the BBC.
1. Chapter 1

1.

Zoe.

Linda was right. Ash and I were a good team. We were work-a-holics and there was chemistry between us. That was obvious to everyone.

We hated each other but something was definitely connecting us. We made jokes and laughed but I never thought it would go anywhere.

So when I left Linda's leaving party, I never expected to be leaving with Ash. We were completely drunk and Ash had instructions from Linda to get me a cab home. I didn't want to go but they had both insisted. He called a cab and helped me into it when it arrived, giving the taxi driver my address I pulled Ash into the back seat, snogging his face off.

After that I blanked out. All I remember is waking up naked with my head on his chest. He was also naked.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Zoe.

I got up quickly, attempting to stop my head from banging and trying not to wake the sleeping Ash lying next to me. I was his boss and we had seemingly slept together the previous night. I showered downstairs attempting to make as little noise as possible. Snuck back into my bedroom and grabbed some clothes, throwing them on I fixed myself a coffee and left a note on the table.

Ash,

Help yourself to a coffee use the shower if you need to. Food in the fridge bread in the bread bin.

Help yourself and I'll see you at work.

Zoe x

P.S. don't think your boss will mind you being late this morning.

I hesitated about the kiss but in the end thought 'why not?' We had just slept together for god's sakes. It wasn't like it was going to happen again any time soon, well I had no idea what was going to happen. If he did like me he could take it as a romantic gesture but if not I could call it a friendly thing.

I didn't know what to think. I didn't know if I liked him or not. I found him incredibly annoying but sweet and caring at the same time. I was confused.

I left the house and him in my bed.

I was making my way to work in my car and my phone started to ring. I jumped. I wasn't ready to speak to Ash yet I had no plan of what to say. I looked at the caller ID and relaxed when I realized it was only Linda. I answered.

"Hey Linda!" I said groggily, my head still hurting from drinking so much last night.

"Hey Zo. You don't sound to good this morin'. What happened to you and Ash last night? When I sent him to get you a cab I didn't see any more of him, nothing happened did it?" she said laughing. How could she be so drunk the night before and not have a hangover today.

"Got a huge hangover, thanks to you! About Ash… I'm not really sure." I replied.

"What happened to you two?" she asked curiously.

"As I said, I'm not sure but the last thing I remember from last night is pulling him into a taxi and snogging his face off. From then on its blank until this morning when I woke up lying on him in bed naked." I explained embarrassed.

"Zoe! You naughty girl. Sleeping with your staff!" Linda joked laughing.

"Don't Linda, just don't." I groaned rubbing my head trying to concentrate on driving.

"What did Ash say this morning?" she teased me.

"Nothing. I left him asleep." I answered shortly.

"What! You didn't wake him up with a good morning kiss?" she teased again.

"No, look Linda I need to go, I'm at work. I'll call you later yeah." I said driving into Holby. My shift wasn't due to start for another 10 minutes but I wasn't up for a girly chat right now, my head was killing me and I was so confused.

"Sure. Speak soon Zoe!" she replied before hanging up.

At work I told Fletch to go and phone Ash to see when he was arriving. I knew where he was but I wasn't going to let everyone know that.

I had been at work for about an hour and Ash still wasn't here. He was due to be working today and unless he had been avoiding me and he was here then I hadn't seen him. Fletch came up to me and told me Ash wanted to speak to me and I was to phone him ASAP.

I waited 5 minutes before calling him trying to compose myself.

I went into my office to make the phone call I was dreading.

I dialed his number and my hands were shaking.

"Hi Zoe!" he answered on the first ring. Why was everyone so cheerful this morning? My head was banging.

"Hi Ash, did you find everything you need?" I replied casually.

"Yeah, one question though… Do you know where my clothes are? I can't find them so I can't come into work yet." He asked.

"No sorry Ash. No idea where your clothes are." I answered racking my brains. "Look why don't I pick you up later and we drop you back at your place. Don't worry about work." I suggested laughing slightly.

"Sure thing. Just bring a pair of scrubs will you?" he said.

"Will do. See you later." I hung up laughing slightly.

I looked up from my desk to see Fletch standing there satisfied with what he had just heard. He saw me look at him and bolted out of the door.


	3. Chapter 3

He had fled from the office and out into the car park. I ran after him. Whatever he had heard he had obviously taken it as the fact that me and Ash were together.

To be honest he was right. But I didn't want him to know that.

As he entered the car park he was nearly hit by the oncoming ambulance.

"Adrien Fletcher." I shouted at him. "You get here right now!"

The other people in the car park were staring at us now.

"Yes mother," he replied timidly. I knew he was trying to make the whole situation funny but I wasn't in the mood for that right now.

"My office. Hurry!" I said simply pointing inside.

I watched as Fletch walked inside with his head down, then I followed him.

Once we were both in my office I slammed the door behind me. I could see that Sam, Tess and Charlie were staring after us, unsure of what Fletch had done.

"What did you hear?" I asked over the top of Fletch's lame excuses.

"Not much. Just that you and Dr. Ashford seem to be meeting each other later and you don't remember much of last night. Plus you don't know where his clothes are." Fletch admitted keeping his head low, avoiding eye contact with me.

"You will forget you heard that and will remember not to listen to my conversations in my office again. Have you got that?" I asked.

"Yes Dr. Hanna." he mumbled looking at the floor.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you."

"Yes Dr. Hanna." he said louder this time and looking into my eyes.

"Good. Now when you go out there people will ask you what you were sent in here for. What will we tell them?" I asked, slouching into the chair behind my desk, regretting that I had made such a scene out there.

"That you had caught me running around by a wet floor sign?" he suggested.

We then came up with different suggestions but none of them seemed good enough.

"What about telling them that you were cross with me because I had left your door open when I was calling Ash, yes I did come in to call Ash in here, and someone had stolen your keys or something?"

"That's a whole lot better than any other excuse we have so what do I say when people look for my keys?"

"Give them to me and I'll hide them without anyone noticing. Then we can blame it on one of the drunken lads and you won't press charges. Sound ok?"

"Great. You can go now." I said handing him my keys.

"Sorry Zoe." he said leaving the office. I knew it was for the effect of the others but they didn't know that.

The whole ED was different after my shouting match at Fletch. To be fair to them it wasn't really a match and it was mainly me shouting at him. They looked at Fletch with simpathy and kept well away from me for the rest of the day.

When my shift was due to end I went looking for Fletch again and the rest of the staff didn't want to help me find him, fearful of what I wanted him for. I eventually found him in cubicles.

"Where's my keys?" I demanded.

"What you haven't found them yet?" he replied laughing.

"I haven't been looking for them I gave them to you to hide." I said annoyed. "I need to get home."

"To see Ash?" he answered cheekily.

"No so I can get changed and wait for my niece to arrive. Give me my keys"

"They're in your office. I dropped them behind the bin on my way out." he said more seriously now.

"Thanks Fletch now I'm going to look really stupid." I said crossly.

"No problem Zo." he said walking off.

"Oh Fletch. Get me a pair of large scrubs will you?" I said remembering Ash would need some.

"Sure. Why?" he asked curiously.

"None of your business thanks." I said turning away and walking to my office to find my keys."

Fletch came into my office a few minutes later carrying two pairs of scrubs.

"Here you go Zoe." he said placing the scrubs on my desk before quickly retreating to the door, just before he got there he said, "I thought you and Ash could match." then he legged it out the room.

I was angry with him but he already had the whole office on his side as I shouted at him earlier. So I put the scrubs in my bag and gathered my things up before leaving the ED. I waved bye to Tom and Sam who were in the locker room kissing each other and laughing. I said bye to Tess and went to my car.

As I got to my car I found that Fletch had been in it with my keys and put a fluffy pink heart shaped frame on my passenger seat. As I looked at the photo in the frame I realised it was one of me and Ash. Well two really because they were separate photos that had been put together. I was so angry and made a mental note to have a word with him tomorrow but for now I would just get in my car drive home let Ash get changed, drop him back to his, return to mine and babysit. Great evening.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it took so long to update. had a busy weekend and my internets been dropping in and out all the time. This chapter is just a smallish one. Not really sure where this is going so any ideas are welcome.**

**Hope you enjoy it.**

**A/N Own character for Lou and Jess.**

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**Chapter 4**

**Zoe. **

I arrived home to find my sister Lou's car parked outside my house. Fantastic. She had her own key meaning she would be able to let herself in and in there she would find Ash. Fantastic, just fantastic.

I walked slowly up to my door a pair of scrubs for Ash carefully concealed within my bag. I fumbled inserting my key into the lock nervous of what I would find.

Before I had full entered the hall I saw my niece run up to me and clamp her chubby arms around my legs nearly knocking me flying.

"Auntie Zoe!" she exclaimed happily.

"Hey Jess, baby! How are you?" I asked picking her up and giving her a squeeze.

"Good. Ash is really funny Auntie Zoe. Who is he? Is he your boyfriend?" she asked looking into my eyes. I couldn't believe that my 3 year old niece was asking me if Ash was my boyfriend. I would expect it from my sister but not her.

"Where is Ash?" I asked avoiding the question.

"In the kitchen with mummy." She said as I put her down. She wandered off to the kitchen to find Lou.

I followed her after putting my bag on the table in the hall.

As I walked into the kitchen I found Jess playing with a box of toys I had for he in the corner of the large dining area and Ash and my sister chatting to each other. Lou making coffee and Ash sitting on the stools at the breakfast bar wearing a towel round his waist and my slippers on his feet. I laughed when I saw this causing them both to look round and see me standing in the doorway.

"Hey Zoe!" Lou greeted me making her way over to hug me.

"Hey Lou. What have you been up to?" I responded as she hugged me.

"Well, I've just been asking Ash here how you know each other. Work apparently. I also asked him why he was in your house because I thought he was an intruder when I first came in. he gave me quite a fright you know!" she explained going back to making coffee and nodding towards Ash when she mentioned him.

"I would have told you he was here I wasn't expecting you till 8." I said embarrassed for Ash being stuck in the room with only a towel wrapped around his waist. I then turned to him, "There's a pair of scrubs in my bag in the hall. Go get changed." I said pointing towards the direction of the hall.

"Thanks Zoe." He replied getting up and going to get the scrubs from my bag.

I turned back to my sister and she burst into laughter.

"Sorry." She said after a minute of me looking at her angrily. "I didn't mean to turn up early but Jess insisted on coming straight here after she finished nursery so we did. Then when I came in and found him in the living room wearing nothing but a towel I just offered him coffee and explained who I was and I was just getting round to asking who he was. So who is he?" she asked, holding back more giggles whilst making me a coffee.

"He is my colleague from work." I answered simply.

"Why is he at your house in a towel?" she asked pressing the questions on me.

"Well I would like to know that as well." I replied accepting the coffee she handed me and laughing slightly.

"What! You don't know why he's here?" she questioned spraying coffee all over the worktops.

"Well I know I kissed him and we got a taxi back here last night but I don't remember anything after that and neither does he. We also don't have the foggiest idea of where his clothes are, that is why I have scrubs for him from work." I explained wiping the side with a cloth.

"Zoe!" she exclaimed. She was so like Linda in her reactions and everything she said. "Is he your boyfriend?" she asked the question I was dreading.

"No." I replied. "We're just friends."

"Yeah, friends with benefits." She laughed moving away from me before I could hit her.

"Shut up!" I laughed.

"Auntie Zoe?" Jess asked coming up and tugging on the hem of my dress.

"Yes sweetie."

"Can we have pizza tonight?" she asked putting her head on one side and sticking her bottom lip out.

"Maybe darling. We'll have to see what I have in the freezer." I said winking at her. Lou didn't like Jess to have pizza but it had become a tradition when she stayed over at mine.

"Thanks Auntie Zoe!" she said running off to continue her game.

Ash walked back into the room dressed in the pair of light blue scrubs I had bought for him, and Lou made her way over to Jess and taking her out of the room to watch TV.

"Thanks for last night Zoe." He said politely, quietly.

"It's fine. I said, "There's no need to do this. I'll drive you home and then we can forget everything that happened." I said. It was becoming more and more clear to me that last night was a mistake to him, a mistake made by two consenting drunk adults. It wasn't going to happen again anytime soon. However much I wanted it to.

"Ok. If that's what you want." He said turning away. He seemed genuinely hurt and sad with this.

"Well. I don't know," I said. "I don't know if you want it to happen again or you were just wanting to go back to being colleagues or friends. I don't know what to do or say or what I want let alone what you want." I said raising my voice.

As I was talking he had made his way over to me and was standing really close to me. He had his hands on my arms and I could feel his hot breath on my forehead.

"Zoe." He whispered and I looked up at him.

He pressed his lips onto mine and started to kiss me. I responded after a moment of shock. Kissing him back hungrily. He pushed me back against the fridge and kissed me with passion and desperation.

After a few minutes of snogging we broke apart as the kiss ended naturally.

"Is that what you want? Because it sure as hell is what I want." He said smiling holding me in his arms tightly.

"Yes." I whispered into his chest.

He smelled of hospitals and anti bacterial hand wash. He was strong and provided the comfort for me that I needed at that moment of time, why I needed it I have no idea but I knew from then on that I wanted him.

I pulled my head off his chest and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Yes." I repeated. "This is exactly what I want."

**Ok? Tell me what you thought of it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Note:- this chapter contains a small sex scene, it isn't very descriptive but if you are younger you might not want to read the end of this chapter. **

**Thank you all so much for your reviews and they are really appreciated. Good and Bad reviews are welcome. **

**Sorry if this chapter is rubbish and a bit cheesy.**

**Maybe another update soon but depends on how fast I do my homework and write the remainder of the next chapter. **

**Chapter 5 - enjoy.**

**xx**

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5.

Zoe.

I reluctantly walked away from him as I remembered my sister and niece in the room next door. I heard him sigh as I walked away.

I cleared away mine and Lous' coffee cups as they walked back into the room. There was an uneasy silence as Lou looked from me to Ash and then back to me. She knew something was up; she had probably heard my voice from the front room but didn't know the whole story. The silence was broken by Jess laughing at Ash in his scrubs. To be honest he did look pretty ridiculous in the bright blue nurses scrubs.

"Right Zoe, I put Jess' bag up in her normal room. It's got everything she needs in it. I need to get going. See you tomorrow baby!" she said grabbing her bag from the kitchen counter and kissing Jess on the head. And waving to me as she left the kitchen. "Thanks so much for this Zo!" she called before shutting the door on her way out.

"No problem. See you tomorrow." I replied sarcastically looking at Ash and rolling my eyes.

"Auntie Zoe, I'm hungry." Jess moaned. "I want pizza."

"Yes. Of course you are sweetie." I replied finding a takeaway pizza menu in the draw in the kitchen. "Fancy a pizza Ash?" I asked smiling as I held up the pizza menu flirting slightly.

"Sure why not." He replied smiling back at me.

"Yay! Ash is staying for a sleepover too! Can we get popcorn and watch Madagascar?" Jess jumped up clapping her hands laughing.

I laughed, as did Ash.

"Well Ash. What do you think? Sleepover and a movie?" I asked picking up Jess, flirting some more and placing my hand on my right hip balancing Jess on the other.

"Why not?" he replied shocking me slightly. I hadn't expected that. He was offering to spend the night with me babysitting my niece.

"Great. What do you like?" I said putting Jess down and handing him the leaflet, trying to hide my surprise. He saw right through me.

"Would you rather I didn't?" he asked taking the leaflet from my hand.

"No. I'd love you to." I replied smiling and walking over to him. Making sure Jess was busy playing with her toys, I lent in and kissed him lightly on the lips, pulling away I pulled the pizza leaflet out of his hands and hit him on the nose lightly making him laugh and blink. Jess looked up from her game of 'my little ponies' and smiled.

"Sweet corn and ham please Auntie Zoe!" she said going back to her game.

"Ok baby girl. Ash what about you?" I replied turning away from him and picking up the phone and dialing the number on the leaflet.

"Pepperoni please." He replied getting a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water from the tap.

"Cool." I said smiling to myself as he filled the glass up.

As I was on the phone to the pizza delivery guy I heard Jess call out to Ash asking for a glass of water to. I laughed again. My boyfriend (I guessed I could call him that) and my niece. They were currently the two most important people in my life and I loved the fact that they got along so well.

**30 minutes later 6pm.**

Ding-dong.

"That must be the pizza's," I said getting up off the sofa and pausing Madagascar. Ash got up to and went into the kitchen as I went to the door.

I paid for the pizzas and followed him into the kitchen.

As I entered the door was shut behind me and Ash grabbed me by my waist and kissed me hard on the lips. I pulled away for a few seconds to put the pizzas on the table before returning to the kiss. After a few moments I felt his tongue slide along the outside of my bottom lip asking for entry. I opened my moth slightly deepening the kiss and passionately kissing him.

I forgot that Jess was there for a moment then I heard the door creak open and I broke away from him quickly. I rubbed my lips clean of the lipstick smudges on them as did Ash and I busied myself with getting plates out of the cupboard and putting the pizza on them. I put Jess' and my own pizza on two separate plates giving her a third and me another third leaving a third in the box. I didn't really feel hungry anymore. I put Ash's pizza on a third plate.

I handed Ash his and grabbed a bottle of white wine of the rack. Tucking it under my arm and taking two glasses from the shelf. Ash carried Jess' pizza into the living room for her and I followed with my own pizza watching him walk. He had a slight sway in his hips and he looked so sexy.

**2 hours later 8pm.**

I had just put Jess to bed and was returning downstairs to Ash. We had finished watching Madagascar and drinking two bottles of wine (I had drunk most of it but…).

**3 hours later 11pm.**

I was sat down on the sofa next to him and was resting my head on his shoulder.

"Alone at last." I said looking up at him.

"Mmmm." He said. "I have an idea of what to do." He said placing his arm on my thigh tracing circular shapes with his index finger. I felt my muscles tighten at his touch.

"Yeah." I replied quietly leaning up to kiss him.

He quickly responded to the kiss, opening his mouth slightly and allowing my tongue in. I slowly caressed the inside of his mouth. I felt his hands reach my waist and start to creep up the inside if my blouse. My hands were on his face and I slowly moved them down to his waist and up into the scrub top. He pushed onto of me and started to kiss me more hungrily, desperately. I responded to him and broke away suddenly to pull his scrub top over his head. Once I returned to kissing him he removed his hands from inside my top and for a moment I thought he wanted to stop or slow down but he replaced them near my neck and started to undo the buttons on my blouse. Once they were all undone I shrugged it off my shoulders and he pulled my arms out of it. He cupped his hands around my breasts and mumbled something.

"Sorry. I didn't quite catch that." I replied breaking away for a moment.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he repeated this time clearer.

"I'm sure." I replied, "Lets go up to my bedroom."

I slowly stood up and grabbed his had as it fell away from me. I pulled him up to and we made our way up stairs trying to keep quiet and not disturb Jess. We kissed each other knocking picture frames crooked as we made our way to my room.

My house is not a mansion but it is far too big for me on my own. It has 5 double bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and 3 en-suites upstairs and downstairs a living room, dining room, office, shower room, kitchen diner, a play room for when Jess comes round and another reception room. The loft space is a large bedroom with its own bathroom and study. This was where I choose to sleep. Jess had the middle room on the floor below me and the rest of the bedrooms were empty and used to house guests when they came over.

We banged against the door to my room and it opened as I pushed Ash into it. I wrapped my legs around his torso straddling him and he carried me into my room. He laid me on the bed and kissed me harder. I let my hands drift down to the waistband of his scrub trousers and yanked them downwards. His hands made their way down to my pencil skirt zip and slowly undid it, enjoying the experience. I helped him out of his trousers and he pulled my skirt over my hips and down my legs. I loved his touch, his smell, just him. I felt a shiver run down my spine as he placed light kisses on my stomach. He was naked now but I still had my bra and pants on. His hands reached behind my back and slowly undid the clasp of my bra; he pulled it off me slowly and replaced it with his hands. We were kissing really hard and desperately now and I could feel his hot breath on my bare skin. He took his hands away from my chest and moved them onto my waist. He slid his hands down into my knickers and began to pull them down. I was on my back and he managed to get my pants off we lay kissing each other and after a moment I felt him enter me. I gasped slightly but continued to kiss him. We moved together for a few minutes, our bodies in perfect sync. After a while we broke apart naturally and I gasped again as he pulled out. I knew from that moment onwards that all I wanted was him. He was so fantastic. Everything I had ever dreamed of. Compared to Nick he was ten times as good. We rolled over and he snuggled up to my back. We feel to sleep wrapped in each arms, a messy tangle of limbs caught within the sheets.

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**So what do you think? Let me know!**

**xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey Guys! So sorry for the late delivery of this chapter. My internets been messing up and I haven't been able to post it. This chapter is just a filler and only short but hopefully the next one will be a bit better.**

**Any thoughts as to what should happen next? **

**Please review and tell me what you think!**

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**Chapter 6**

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Zoe.

I woke up at around 8 the next morning to find myself alone in the bed. I saw the scrubs I had got for Ash gone from the floor of the room. I felt hurt. He had left me.

Then I heard laughter coming from downstairs and I remembered Jess. She wasn't the only one laughing. A deep male laugh joined her soft childish giggle. He was still here. I smiled to myself, happy.

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**An hour earlier. 7am**

Ash.

I woke up to the noise of laughter coming from downstairs. I sat up and looked at the unfamiliar surroundings that I was in. then I remembered last night. Kissing and sleeping with Zoe for a second night in a row. I looked down at the sleeping figure next to me and smiled to myself, happy.

I remembered the laughter coming from down the stairs and I remembered Zoe's niece Jess. She must have woken. I wasn't going to wake Zoe so I felt that I should go and look after Jess myself. I got up careful to avoid the sleeping Zoe who lay next to me, just as careful as she had been the day before. I found my scrubs on the floor and put them on silently. Taking one last glance at my beautiful girlfriend I went and found Jess sitting in her room playing with her Barbie's.

"Ash!" she said looking up as I entered her bedroom.

"Morning Jess, how about some breakfast?" I said cheerfully.

"Yes please!" she replied jumping up from the floor and giving me a hug. I was surprised by her actions, the girl had known me little more than 12 hours and yet she hugged me good morning and was happy to chat away to me as if she had known me for years.

She grabbed my hand when I offered it to her and I led her downstairs. When we go to the kitchen I opened cupboard after cupboard trying to find something suitable to give Jess for breakfast. I eventually found some coco pops in the last cupboard I looked in. Jess ate them hungrily and asked for more afterwards, she reminded me of when Ella was younger. She had long, fair hair and a cheeky smile. Her front teeth were wobbly and she showed me them as she chatted away to me and I nodded at her continuously trying to understand what she was saying, she had a slight lisp but she reminded me so much of Zoe in the way she talked, the way she behaved and her smile was just the same, a sweet smile that Zoe only had when she was really happy. The smile I had grown to love not despise of over the last couple of days.

After breakfast I took Jess upstairs again to get dressed and she choose a pink fairy top and pink leggings from the many different clothes she had the choice of. By the looks of things Jess stayed over a lot or Zoe just had lots of clothes for her niece. Charlie had told me at some point that Zoe couldn't have children; I wondered if that was why she spoiled Jess so much.

After getting Jess dressed I took her and some of her toys back downstairs and into the playroom which was once again full of things for Jess, we sat playing with toys for about half an hour before I put the telly on and we watched Peppa Pig. It reminded me of when Ella was little, the toys the children's programmes and the laughter young children provided you with.

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**8am**

Zoe.

I couldn't quite believe what had happened over the days since Linda had left. I had gone from being single and lonely to having a boyfriend and a happy life that wasn't centred around work. I now had the perfect boyfriend who had got up to play with my niece. My life was great.

I got up slowly and took my time getting dressed. I had a shower in the en-suite and stayed upstairs whilst I dried and straightened my hair, leaving Ash to look after Jess. After putting on my make-up I left the sanctuary of my room and entered a world of Jess and chaos.

"Auntie Zoe!" I heard as I went into her playroom and saw Ash watching Peppa Pig more intently than Jess.

"Hey sweetie! Have you had breakfast?" I replied watching Ash carefully. He still hadn't torn his eyes away from the screen.

"Yes, Ash gave me coco pops!" She smiled up at me.

"Did he now. Well we need to go and make all that chocolate milk disappear from your teeth before your mother arrives and she finds out you had pizza and coco pops, otherwise you won't be allowed to stay with me again!" I said picking her up and taking her to her en-suite bathroom upstairs, I left Ash sitting on the sofa in the playroom watching Peppa Pig.

After brushing her teeth I left her upstairs to play with her toys and went to see my boyfriend.

"Morning." I said cheerfully as I entered the playroom.

"Morning beautiful!" he replied now clearing away Jess' toys from the floor as Peppa Pig had finished.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked him. "We should probably go to yours and get you some clothes." I sat down on the sofa and he came and sat net to me.

Placing his arm around my neck and pulling my head into his chest he replied. "Yeah sounds good."

"Lou's coming at 10 so we have Jess until then but she's fine playing with herself." I said.

"Perfect. Just prefect." He said.

I looked up at him and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, feeling him respond I grabbed his head and pulled him in closer to me as he grabbed my waist and pulled me on to his lap. We sat facing each other our lips locked, together.

We kissed passionately for a while and then we sat next to each other on the sofa and hugged each other watching the news on the TV.

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**Any Good? Please review and give me your thoughts.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's chapter 7! Hope you like it.**

**Thanks for all the reviews so far, they're really appreciated.**

**Not sure what to do next, any ideas?**

** Let me know, leave a review, go on, I know you want to …**

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**Chapter 7**

Zoe.

Lou came at 10 as she said she would. Jess was a frequent visitor to mine and she now had a large collection of clothes and toys, her own room, bathroom and playroom. She was my only niece and as I couldn't have children I spoilt her and enjoyed my time with her. Lou's husband had recently left her and after that she had needed to work lots to provide for Jess, she had night jobs as well as a day job and couldn't afford a nanny so I became a baby sitter. I don't mind as I love to spend time with Jess and want to help Lou but it has become a fact that Jess spends nearly every Tuesday, Friday and sometimes Saturday night here. I take her to school on a Wednesday morning, pick her up on a Friday or the occasional other day and we have a great time together but I don't really do much else, or have much time to be myself and do things other than work and look after Jess. She is (alongside work and Ash now) the most important thing in my life. Lou knows this and is very thankful for what I do but she doesn't spend as much time with Jess as she would like to so I help cover some of the costs so she doesn't have to work all the time. I earn much more than she does and always have much money to spare. I have no mortgage or loans; I don't spend too much time at home so my bills are low and don't have kids to feed. I have everything I need but Lou only just has enough to feed and house Jess and herself. I feel bad being the one who has no responsibility and is well off where she has all the responsibility and all the problems, it isn't fair. But then again like I have been told my entire life; Life isn't fair.

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For the rest of the day Ash and I spent our time with each other and flirting continuously. We kissed a lot and we enjoyed each other's company. For lunch we made a picnic and decided to stop by his and get him some clothes before heading to a woodland clearing on the outskirts of Holby to have our picnic.

He lived in a regular sized three-bedroom house about a 10minute drive from the hospital. It had a reasonable size garden and was really just a normal house in Holby. It was much smaller than my own house but it seemed homely. He showed me around his house then went to his room to get changed into some proper clothes rather than his scrubs. I explored a little further and found a bedroom clearly belonging to Ella and a spare room that was full of junk. Once he was changed we headed back to my car and I drove us to the nearby woods.

For once I was wearing something sensible on my feet instead of my stilettos I was wearing trainers, I had also changed from a pencil skirt and blouse into jeans, t-shirt and hoodie. Ash was surprised to see me without my usual attire and looked impressed that I owned something other than what I wore for work.

He was wearing jeans too but he wore a shirt with the top two buttons undone on it. On his feet he wore trainers like me. His jeans hugged tight to his legs and he looked so sexy and I was really pleased to call him my boyfriend.

As we walked through the woodland to the clearing he pulled me close and put his arm around my shoulders protectively. We walked like this for a while in silence enjoying the surroundings and the noise of the animals and the trees. When we got to the clearing we unpacked the basket the food was in and spread out a rug.

"This is nice." He said as we sat leaning against each other on the rug.

"Yeah, it's so peaceful here." I agreed sighing.

"What do you want first?" he asked getting food out of the basket.

"You." I answered attempting to flirt (I was pretty pathetic with the whole romance thing. I hadn't got much practise in apart from the few boyfriends I had in the past and I didn't feel as strong a pull to them as I do to Ash. I hadn't had a boyfriend for such a long time I was nervous and didn't know what I should do).

"Well Doctor Hanna why don't we have some lunch then we could go back to mine or yours and you could get what you want." He said in a whisper next to my ear. His breath caused a tingle to go down my spine and I looked at him.

"Sounds good Doctor Ashford." I whispered back. "Sounds very good.

We sat there and he fed me strawberries, dropping them into my mouth delicately, the fruit burst with juice and was sweet and delicious. I threw cherries and grapes at him whilst he tried to catch them in his mouth. We laughed and chatted about anything and everything but work. We kissed a bit too. It felt so good to be able to have fun and enjoy my life. I hadn't had a proper boyfriend since Nick and event though I had not known Ash long I already felt closer to him than Nick.

After we had finished our picnic we packed away the rest of the food and made our way back to my car hand in hand, Ash's other hand carrying the basket.

We went back to mine after that and went to bed even though it was only 3 in the afternoon.

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**I wonder what happens in the bed?**

**A/N: I'm not going to write about what they get up to so it's up to you. The next part will be up soon hopefully, no promises though. **

**Please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Short chapter, sorry. The next one will be longer.**

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**Chapter 8**

The following morning we woke up again as a tangle of limbs under a sheet. We spent the day in each other's company happily watching films and eating popcorn.

He had to head home at around 9:30 as Ella was staying at his that night but we had agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone at work or in our lives (apart from Lou who already knew) that we were together for a while and see if they guessed. We would tell anyone who asked if we were going out that we were but if they didn't ask then we wouldn't tell. Also Ash pointed out that Louise from work was rather keen on him; we agreed that if she asked him out then he would tell her he was taken but not by whom. I said the same would go if anyone asked me out. After he left I put my pyjamas on and went to bed for the most sleep I had had since Friday night when Linda had left. All I could think about was Ash.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! **

**Thank you for all your thoughts on this, sorry for the wait for an update. The next update wont be for at least a week because I am going on a school trip. **

**Just so you know I wont be bringing Nick back, that would be a good idea but I don't really know who Nick is as I only started watching Casualty at the beginning of Series 27 so I don't really know what happened between Nick and Zoe apart from the fact that she cant have children, so sorry but I don't feel that I know enough about Nick to write about him.**

**Once again thanks for the reviews. I really appreciate them and I will take your ideas on board if I feel the fic could use them.**

**Thank you all. **

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**Chapter 9**

**Zoe.**

After the weekend, that we had spent together, we had work to get back to and we had decided to keep our relationship private until we were ready to share it with the others at the ED. Me and Ash were on the same shifts for the next week which meant we would be able to spend lots of time together.

On Monday morning we drove in separately and I had to call him to my office to tell him off for missing Fridays shift, even though I knew what had happened I decided that the others would be less suspicious if we still acted as if we hated each other.

The shift went by slowly and it was hard to be horrible to Ash, as I knew him so much better than I had the previous time we worked together.

At my lunch break Fletch had come up to me and started asking me if Ash had enjoyed his scrubs and if I had worn a matching pair. I hit him hard on the head with a file and told him to shut it; he just gave me a sly smile and turned around to go back to work.

I spent the rest of the day busy with my work, I got thrown up on twice so I was in scrubs by the end of my shift and had to perform an emergency operation in the middle of resus.

I left a note in Ash's locker telling him to meet me at mine later that evening he left a reply in my office saying he couldn't wait.

After work I travelled home and started preparing some kind of meal. In my freezer I found chicken and chips but I had to make up some kind of sauce thing to go with it. I decided on a black pepper sauce that I found a recipe for on my iPad. After cooking the chicken and making the sauce I found some carrots and broccoli in the fridge so I decided to cook those in the microwave. This was one of the first meals I had cooked in my kitchen and this meant that I had practically had no idea how to use half the appliances in it. I nearly burnt the chips and set the microwave on fire from covering the vegetables with foil until I remembered that I couldn't put metal in a microwave.

As I finished the dinner Ash arrived at the door and I let him in kissing him passionately before he could properly enter the house. Ash was caught off guard slightly and nearly dropped the bottle of wine he was carrying. I broke away and he stumbled through the door.

"How was your day?" I asked him as he took his coat off.

"Great. Apart from being shouted at by my boss." He replied.

"Oh, she didn't mean it. It was only a front. Though you should have taken that guy for a CT not an MRI." I said kissing him lightly.

"Oh I know she didn't," he said picking me up by my waist and taking me into the kitchen.

I laughed and said flirtingly "Well, if you're good now she might make it up to you later."

"Sounds good. That may well be a compromise I am able to come to terms with." He replied kissing me as he placed me back on the floor. "Have you been cooking?"

"Yes. Not very well to be honest but I thought I could attempt it." I replied putting my hands on my hips defensively as he surveyed at the messy kitchen he stood in.

"Can I smell burning?" he asked jokingly dodging my hand as I reached out to hit him.

"Shut up!" I said going over to take out the food and plates.

"I'm being serious. When did you last cook?"

"A few months ago, maybe. I think I cooked for Dylan one time but that was ages ago." I replied shrugging.

"Then I feel honoured. Who's Dylan?" He asked suspiciously.

"Oh just an old friend." I said quickly. Dylan was really funny and when he first came to Holby we became good friends. At one point we had nearly gone out together and become more than friends, that was until Sam turned up and the explosion at the ED happened during the explosion we shared secrets with each other. I told him the truth but he didn't, it turned out he and Sam were married. After that Dylan and I had drifted apart and then he had left after Sam had asked him for a divorce after getting together with Tom. I didn't really want to talk about him too much as I still felt hurt that he hadn't told me about him and Sam.

"An _old friend_?" he questioned.

"Yes, an _old friend_. He was nothing more. Are you jealous Martin?" I teased him. I knew he hated his real name, no idea why.

"No! Of course not. And my name is Ash, not Martin." He replied adding the later as an afterthought.

"Fine _Ash_." I said as I took two glasses out of the cupboard and started to pour the wine he had bought with him. It was an expensive brand but was a fantastic wine. I took the two plates to the table that was in the kitchen.

We sat opposite each other at the table. We started to make small talk and then it turned into laughter and before I knew it I was flicking a carrot off my plate at him. He was flicking one back at me and then I ended up sitting on his lap with him feeding me my dinner, me feeding him his. The dinner wasn't too bad considering it was thrown together and not planned at all.

After we had finished dinner I cleared away the plates and we went up to my room and started to kiss more passionately, desperately, as if we couldn't bare to be apart from each other for even a mere moment.

We slipped each other out of our clothes. I straddled him and pulled him back on to the bed so he was on top of me. I kissed him harder and harder. He slipped off my pants and I did the same with his boxers, discarding them to my bedroom floor. As I felt him enter I let out a small gasp and bit down on his lip. He created a trail of kisses down my naked form, sucking lightly as not to create marks. I gripped onto the sheets and panted quickly. He slowly made his way back up my body and kissed me on the lips silencing me. I groaned slightly and responded to his kiss happy to have him. Then I flipped him over using all my energy so I lay on top of him now. I was in control. I placed small kisses on his bare chest and his hands cupped my breasts. I placed his hands on his cheeks and kissed him hard moving slowly. He removed his hands from my breast and placed them on my hips. We kissed deeply enjoying the feel of our skin colliding. After a few minutes I felt him exit and I climbed off him slowly and lay next to him. We breathed heavily together for a few minutes trying to catch our breath back.

"Wow," he whispered.

"Yeah, wow!" I replied turning to face him. It was strange that time we made love was different to the previous times; it felt more intense, more meaningful. As if we were meant to be together. I kissed him lightly on the head and he turned to face me. We were both lying completely naked and neither of us seemed to mind. All the other people I had slept with were self-conscious about being naked and were quick to cover up. With Ash however, he didn't seem to mind.

"Come on. Lets get to sleep. After all we both have work tomorrow and I don't want to be yelled at by my boss again for not showing up!" He said as he pulled the duvet out from underneath him and rolled under it. I did the same and lay next to him.

"We going in together tomorrow?" I asked sleepily.

"Yeah, why not? Were serious aren't we?" he replied as if it was no big deal. We both knew that the others at work would talk and not believe it for a while but they would eventually come round.

"Of course we are." I replied.

He turned to face me looked into my eyes before saying.

"Good. Because Zoe, you know what?"

"No, what?" I replied unsure of what he was getting at.

"Because Zoe, I love you." He finished.

I was shocked by his sudden confession and taken aback. I knew of my reply before I had even said it.

"I love you too." I said cupping his face in my hands and kissing him deeply, caressing the roof of his mouth, my tongue fighting his for dominance.

As we broke away we smiled at each other before closing our eyes and falling to sleep in each other's embrace.

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**Any good? Please review.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow! Over 1,000 views! T****hanks to all my readers!**

**Thanks to all the people who have reviewed this story so far, I really appreciate it. Sorry for the wait, I was on a school trip. **

**Anyway… here is the new chapter, hope you enjoy it. Read and Review please. I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this.**

**Next chapter should be up soon!**

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Chapter 10.

Zoe.

The next day we woke up in the same position we fell asleep in. I woke before him and had a shower, when I went back into my bedroom he was stirring. It was only 6 in the morning and he still looked tired.

We smiled at each other sleepily and he stretched his arms out and yawned. I laughed and wrapped the towel I was wearing around my body tighter.

"You don't have to cover up you know Zo. I've seen it all before." He said laughing at me trying to hide my body.

"Fine, if that's what you want." I said and dropped the towel from my body and continued to walk to my wardrobe to get some clothes out.

He laughed and admired me from behind. I could sense his gaze on me from behind and I waggled my arse at him to which he laughed even more.

"Come on sleepy, time to get up and get to work." I said pulling on some underwear and grabbing a blue dress from the rack of many dresses and skirts. I then pulled that on and turned to him and walked to the bed.

"Zip me up." I said and he slowly tugged the zip up my back making me shiver as I felt his touch upon me.

"You look great." He whispered into my ear standing up behind me.

"No I don't." I replied, "I haven't put my make up on yet."

"You look hot without it." He said kissing my neck lightly.

"Yeah right."

"Zoe, you look great, ok."

"Fine, whatever you say." I shrugged him off gently, "Get dressed. Your boss doesn't want another shouting match with you so hurry up." I laughed going to my dressing table and starting to put on my make up.

"Yeah, one problem with that." He said seriously.

"What, a problem getting dressed? Do you need some help Ash?" I joked.

"No I don't need help. I don't have anything to wear." He reasoned.

"Oh, well, we'll have to stop at yours on the way to the hospital." I said concentrating as I put on my eyeliner.

"Ok. Well I'll go and get some breakfast, anything you fancy?" he said pulling on his boxers from the previous day.

"Mmmmm… You?" I said and laughed.

"Well that could happen but we don't have time for that do we. Coco pops it will have to be then." He said and kissed me on the back of my neck forcing my head to tighten and lean backwards I sighed. "See you downstairs sweetie." He finished and left the room.

I finished my make up and made my way downstairs, my hair was still damp so I brought that down with me I also brought my straighteners. I made my way down to the kitchen where Ash was sitting at the table in his underwear eating coco pops. They were my only cereal in the house as I usually skipped breakfast and Jess only really liked chocolate cereal.

I plugged in my straighteners and my hair dryer beside the table and kissed him on the lips gently, his lips tasted of chocolate milk. As I pulled away he grabbed my arse and squeezed it. I laughed.

"Oi!" I said and he let go slowly.

"I need to eat, so do you." He said pushing a bowl of cereal and a carton of milk towards me and I sighed.

"Really? Do I have to?" I said.

"Yes. Now eat." He demanded laughing pouring the milk into the bowl.

"Fine, whatever you say chief." I replied sitting on a free chair and feeding myself coco pops.

After I had finished eating I left Ash clean up and dried my hair before straightening it. By that time it was half 7 and we needed to start to head off if we were going to have enough time to go to Ash's before work.

I went upstairs to brush my teeth before grabbing my bag for work and checking my phone (I had a huge amount of emails that I hadn't read yet, and wouldn't read until work).

After I was ready I grabbed my keys and Ash followed me to my car. We got to Ash's in less than 5 minutes and were in and out in 15. He had a quick shower then pulled on some fresh clothes whilst I put some more clothes in a small bag that he could leave at mine. I drove us to the hospital and got there 15 minutes before our shift was due to start so we stayed in the car for a while and kissed each other passionately before just talking about random things. We were parked just around the corner from the hospital in a back street so no one we knew could see us.

After getting out of the car I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.

"Are we going to do this?" I asked him.

"Yep. Lets go." He replied squeezing my hand back and looking at me. He kissed me on the lips and started to walk towards the hospital pulling me with him.

As we got closer to the hospital Fletch saw us walking hand in hand and wolf whistled. I kept my head up looking straight ahead and tried not to be fazed by the faces staring at us.

As we entered the ED we got a few stares from Tess, Sam, Tom, Charlie and some of the other staff who were all looking shocked that I was walking into work holding hands with my archenemy that I had yelled at quite viciously the day before.

Whilst I kissed Ash lightly, trying not to make a big deal about our relationship, Dixie and Jeff came in with a patient so Tom and Charlie went off to help leaving the girls to come after me wanting 'the low down' on Ash and I.

I went to my office saying something to Ash about seeing him later and he went off to help with the patient that Dixie and Jeff had bought in.

Tess and Sam followed me and managed to get into my office before I could shut them out. They wanted all the details without the gory parts. I simply told them that Ash and I had goten together a few days ago but we really liked each other and had decided to share our happiness with the ED, I knew it sounded cheesy and Tess and Sam didn't believe a word of it and continued to ask me questions so as I sat behind my desk I paged the two of them using a spare pager I had saying they were needed in rhesus. They left after that but promised they would be back later to find out the truth, I didn't care. I was just thankful for the quiet that my office provided so I was able to think about the past few days. It seemed like Ash and I had been together for so much longer than 5 days and they had gone so quick, I hadn't had much time to get my head around what had happened. As I sat in my office I thought about Ash and realized that I didn't care if anyone knew. I loved him, he loved me. We may of not been together long but this was the best thing that had happened to me in so long, I wanted to share it.

After about an hour I decided to start working. I logged onto my email and saw that I had 253 emails that had been sent to me in the past 24 hours. It took most of the morning to sort the important and the spam from each other then read and answer the important ones before spending the rest of the day until 6 in rhesus performing CPR and finding out cures for unusual diseases.

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**Read and Review please!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey! So, I wont be updating for a while as I am going away for a while and I'm not sure how long it will be until I can update. Anyway thanks for all the reviews!**

**This isn't a very long chapter and nothing really happens. In the next few chapters something will actually happen. Let me know your thoughts.**

**Here you are chapter 11...**

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Chapter 11

Zoe.

Throughout the day I had people coming up to me asking if it was true that Ash and I were together, I told them that we were and the rest was none of their business.

At lunch we grabbed sandwiches and sat in my office together eating them and kissing. We were interrupted by Charlie wanting my opinion on a patient, as I walked around the ED people stopped their conversations and stared at me. I guessed they were all gossiping about Ash and I

I caught Sam and Tom kissing in the locker room, they stopped as soon as I entered but I told them to carry on or I was a hypocrite so they did. Fletch couldn't stop laughing whenever he saw me and I came close to hitting him a few times but he was quick to run before it was clear I was angry. I could tell that the young nurses were talking about me, as they were quick to stop talking as I neared them. I snapped at a lot of people that day and told them that sick people needed their help and if they had time for talking they weren't working hard enough.

The gossip wasn't too bad to be honest and they ED's reaction to Ash and I's relationship was as if they had expected it to happen. I was talking to Tess and she said that it was about time we had got together, it made me wonder if it wasn't only obvious to Linda that we had chemistry or it was obvious to everyone else but no one had told us.

As promised Tess and Sam came and found me during their break and quizzed me on my relationship. It felt good to talk about it so I locked my office door and turned off all our pagers. As I told the story about how Ash and I got together at Linda's party we laughed and giggled like teenagers gossiping over boys they fancied. Sam shared the story of how she and Tom had got together over a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, even though it had taken them ages after that to properly become a couple but that had been the moment they had started to see each other as more than friends. Tess joined in with stories of bad dates and embarrassing moments she had experienced in the past. We all laughed and had fun in the privacy of the office; it was good to spend time with my close colleagues, behaving like we were teenagers again. I had not had an experience like this in a long time. It felt good to share experiences and I felt closer to Sam than I had before; Tess and I were old friends and she would be one of the first people I would go to if I had a problem, but Sam I hadn't really known that well until today. Yeah, sure, we had chatted and were acquaintances but not really anything more, we were close to being friends before the ED discovered her and Dylan were married but after that we grew apart more and more

Before we had realized, we had spent an hour and a half locked in the office behaving like teenagers. It was way past the end of Tess' break and Sam's shift had finished 45 minutes ago. We hurried out of the office and I said goodbye to Sam who went over to Tom who looked annoyed that he had been waiting for her for nearly an hour. Tess rushed off to cubicles and I went back to rhesus where Ash was, I smiled when I saw him but tried to ignore the urge to go over to him and talk but after a few minutes of looking at a patients notes trying to figure out the problem with a patient I found I was no longer able to resist. I walked over to him swaying my hips slightly watching him watch me. I walked out of the door next to him and he followed me. I could feel his gaze on me as I led him to a deserted corridor.

I turned and pulled him into an embrace.

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere." He whispered into my ear as I kissed him on the lips slightly.

"Just having a girly chat, that's all." I replied.

"Oh! About what?" he asked kissing me back.

"You." I replied wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him down to my level and kissing him again.

"Really," he answered after breaking away.

"Yes." I said and I placed a small kiss on his lips. "You're very interesting you know." I continued.

"Oh I know." He said placing his hands on the back of my head and passionately kissing me.

As we broke away Fletch wandered down the corridor and when he saw us shouted, "You get her Ash!"

I twisted round to see him, fuming.

"I'm going. I'm going!" he said running out of the corridor, before he got out he yelled, "Nice work guys!".

I just smiled at Ash and he placed a kiss on my lips.

"Just ignore him yeah." He said stroking my arm.

"Yeah. I'll try." I replied returning the kiss and walking back into the busy ED getting back to work after spending most of the day stuck in my office and kissing the man I was in love with.

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**Hopefully I will update soon but I'm making no promises. Read and Review. **


	12. Chapter 12

**So, here you are another chapter! Sorry for the really slow update! I've been away all summer, back now though!**

**In this chapter it starts a few weeks after they announced their relationship to the ED. Also Lloyd hasn't left yet.**

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Chapter 12

Zoe.

Last week Ash had taken me to meet his daughter Ella. She was pleased to know her dad had found someone he was happy with. We got on ok but she didn't like the fact she was no longer Ash's' only girl. I think she was a bit jealous. Jess and Lou had met Ash several more times over the past weeks. Jess loved Ash and they always had such fun together. Lou teased me about the fact I had found a boyfriend who could stand me constantly.

Jess had become a frequent visitor at work as it was now the school holidays and Lou was still working in many places. Jess would come and spend the day on the children's ward playing with all the toys up there where one of the nurses would keep an eye out for her or in my office with me playing with gloves, bandages or a spare laptop I had.

When I had first bought her into work everyone was shocked that I had a little girl with me. Tess, Charlie and some of the other doctors and nurses knew that it was my niece but Lloyd, Robyn, Jamie and one of the new F2's Lily assumed she was my own child. Lily gave me a lecture about children in the workplace and the others all tried to find out who they thought the father was and would ask me suspicious questions all day before I introduced Jess to them properly as my niece. They welcomed her and would always be kind and happy around her. It pleased me to be able to help Lou out and offer Jess a happy environment for Jess to be in.

Jess loved it when she came to where I worked and all the staff in the ED loved her too. Fletch would spend his breaks with her as did Sam and Tom. Ash would always pop up to the children's ward or bring spare bandages to my office when he had the chance. Lou was always grateful and thanked Ash and I so much each time Jess spent the day with us. She was getting more and more stressed as the weeks went by. She still hadn't got a proper job; she just did odd jobs around the place.

Jess was staying at mine again tonight and coming to work with me tomorrow. Lou was already feeling bad about leaving her with me. She felt she couldn't provide for the life Jess needed. Each time I saw her she seemed more stressed than the last.

Ash and mine's relationship had been going well over the past few weeks and Ash had spent most of his time at mine he practically lived there now and hadn't been back to his house in about a week so I was planning on asking him to move into mine properly that evening.

After I had given Jess a bath and put her to bed Ash and I sat on the sofa, we were watching some random film that was on Film 4.

"Ash," I said interrupting the silence that had fallen on the room.

"Yes baby." He replied putting his arm around my neck and caressing my cheek, kissing my neck gently.

"How do you fancy moving in?" I asked looking up at him, shuffling around on the sofa to face him.

"Moving in?" he repeated, "here?"

"Yeah." I answered. "You can think about it if your not sure." I added not wanting to push him into doing anything he didn't want to.

"Not sure?" he repeated laughing. "I have never been so sure of everything in my life! Of course I'll move in, if you'll have me!"

"Really?" I smiled.

"Really!" he replied kissing my lips as if to prove that he really wanted to.

The kiss turned more heated and passionate and ended up with me topless and Ash wearing only his boxers before we decided to move to my (now our!) bedroom and continue there. He gathered up his clothes whilst I gathered up mine and we made our way upstairs trying to keep as quiet as possible as to not to wake Jess. We succeeded and continued our love making in the light of the moon peeping though the skylights.

We fell to sleep in each others embrace to be woken by the ringing of the telephone a few hours later…

**What do you think? Let me know… Next chapter is more exciting!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello again! **

**This chapter is where the plot kicks off and things start to get moving a bit - they have been a bit slow so far...**

**Hope you like it, leave me a review.**

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Chapter 13

Zoe.

The next morning I woke up to the ringing of the phone next to my bed. It was dark out and I thought it was the alarm so I hit it hard before realizing what it was. As I answered it I grabbed a sheet and pulled it around me glancing at the clock on the wall which read 4:27 am. I thought to myself who would be calling at this time of night?

"Hello." I coughed as I exited the bedroom and entered the study.

"Hello, is that Miss Zoe Hanna?" said a deep and strong male voice that I didn't recognise.

"Yes, who is it?" I replied wondering who and why they were calling me at 4:30 in the morning.

"This is DCI Harris from Holby Police Station, sorry for the early morning call but I need to inform you that your sister Louisa Hanna has been involved in a car crash. If you could I would like you to come into the station as soon as possible please." The voice responded.

I felt sick. What had happened to Lou and was she ok? I stayed quiet for a few minutes and then DCI Harris coughed slightly.

"Are you still there Miss Hanna?"

"Yes," I chocked. "Is Lou all right?" I dared to ask.

"I'd like to talk about that when you get here if that is all right." He replied slowly, I could tell he was concealing information from me. It meant that Lou wasn't all right and as it was the police not the hospital calling me then I could only assume the worst…

My baby sister was dead.

**Sorry for leaving you on such a note but the next chapter will be up soon I promise! Let me know what you think.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Back again! Not that long since an update! **

**Here we go chapter 14…**

**Can anyone tell me if they are even reading this? Haven't had much response recently…**

Chapter 14.

Zoe.

I could not move. I felt sick inside and like the world had just fallen down around me.

"Is she dead?" I asked DCI Harris, nervously. I didn't want to know the answer but I needed to know it. I didn't want my little sister to be gone forever. I didn't want Jess to go back to her dad and grow up without her mother. I know that every girl needs a mother.

"I would like to discuss this properly at the station. I can send you a car and it will be with you in five minutes." He replied carefully, think about his words.

"Ok." I replied in what was barely a whisper. The only way to find out if Lou was alive or not was to go to that station and be told.

"I'll see you soon Miss Hanna." DCI Harris said before hanging up.

I stayed frozen for a few minutes allowing myself to get composed before I slowly moved back into the bedroom and got dressed into a black pencil skirt and crisp white shirt. Grabbing a little blue bag I placed my purse and phone into it then I found some blue high heels and coat that I could wear before I crept over to Ash and nudged him slightly in attempt to wake him up.

"Ash." I tried. "Ash!"

No response.

"Oh for goodness sake!" I cried in despair as I heard the police car pull up outside. I hit him on the shoulder and he woke with a start.

"Ahhhh. What time is it? Do I need to go to work? Wh…" he started.

"Look its fine. I just got a call to tell me Lou has been involved in a car crash. I need to head to the police station. If I'm not back by the time Jess gets up can you look after her?" I asked trying to remain calm, even though inside I was feeling sick.

"Sure. Is she ok?" he asked sitting up.

"I don't know." I replied before I sat on the bed and the tears came flooding to my eyes. I couldn't hold them back any longer. Ash placed his arm around me comfortingly.

"It'll all work out. I promise." He said as the car outside beeped its horn.

"I need to go. I might be late in for work. Don't tell Jess where I am, make something up. See you later," I said standing up kissing him lightly on the forehead.

"Ok." He replied simply.

I turned around and walked towards the door before turning back and waving to him. I went down the stairs to Jess' room and looked in at her sleeping peacefully, not aware that her mum had probably just died.

I shut her door slowly so she didn't wake before going down more stairs and exiting the house.

I saw the police car outside and walked towards it slowly, I was nervous and didn't want to find out if I was now an only child or not. The thought filled me with dread. I would be and only child and Jess would no longer see me.

I walked to the car and was greeted by a friendly looking police officer who introduced himself as DS George Wilkinson. He then introduced me to his companion DS Freya Davies. I got into the car and we drove to Holby Police station, which is about 2 miles away from my house.

When we arrived Charlie took me, to the reception where I was told to go and wait outside DCI Harris' office. Freya joined us again and took me there.

I was left outside an office that reminded me of my school days. Sitting outside the head teachers' office for smoking behind the bicycle shed or drawing on tables if I got bored in lessons. I was a well-known troublemaker at school. Lou was the opposite and she was always working hard and never in trouble. Just this thought of Lou bought the tears back to my eyes and I sat there with my head in my hands.

"Miss Hanna?" said a voice from next to me. It was the same voice as the one on the phone.

I looked up and saw a man standing there; I presumed it was DCI Harris. He was a tall man with black greying hair, he wore thin glasses which sat on the tip of his nose. He was in a smart grey suit but his face was tired looking and withdrawn. He wasn't the man he used to be. He had a sly thin mouth, which made him slightly daunting but his eyes looked trusting.

"Yes," I said wiping my eyes.

"Would you like to come in?" he said pointing behind him to his office.

I nodded and entered the room. I was a white room with a black desk; which held a computer, notebooks, pens and so on. Behind the desk was a black leather chair similar to the two that sat in front of the desk. The walls were bare and the floor was carpeted in white. One of the chairs facing the desk was already occupied by a woman with a sympathetic look on her face. I sat on the other chair and DCI Harris sat behind the desk.

"Miss Hanna, this is Julienne. She is your support officer." DCI Harris said and the woman smiled.

I just nodded at her. I wasn't in the mood for small talk.

"Now as I said on the phone your sister Louisa was involved in a car crash earlier this evening. I am sorry to tell you that she has unfortunately died."

As he said the last few words Julienne placed her hand on my shoulder and tried to offer some comfort. My world just stopped then and there. I broke down into tears. Sobbing into my hands.

After a few minutes I composed myself.

"How did the crash occur?" I whispered, barely audibly.

"Your sister was driving on the main road for Holby and a car coming the other way much to fast swerved hitting her car and causing her to spin off into a tree." DCI Harris explained.

"Instant." I muttered under my breath. DCI Harris still heard.

"Sorry but what was that? Did you say 'instant'?" he asked softly.

"Yeah." I replied. "I'm a doctor. A car hitting another car at speed causing the other car to hit a tree would cause instant death for the driver who would most likely go through the windscreen and be killed by the impact of their head on the tree."

He looked shocked. The paramedics at the scene had obviously not worked that out.

"Great. I really trust the doctors in Holby then." I said sarcastically.

"Well…" DCI Harris said.

"What will happen to Jess?" I asked nervously, dreading the answer.

"Jess?" he questioned, "Who's Jess?"

"Lous daughter." I replied unsure of why he didn't know already.

"Oh right, sorry I forgot about her. Not my department. You'll have to get onto child protection. Where is she now?" he said remembering immediately.

"She's been staying with me lots recently. Lou has been working lots recently so me and my partner have been taking care of her. She's back at mine." I explained.

"Right well, do you want to tell her or do you want one of our officers to?" he asked shuffling some papers round on his desk.

"I'll tell her thanks." I answered. "What happens now?"

"Well when you're ready you need to identify the body or we can get your mother or father to do that." He said looking at me over his glasses.

"I'll do that." I said not wishing my mother or father to have to look at their daughters' dead body.

"I must say that she received quite a hit and had a nasty cut on her forehead. Her things are in the morgue. Julienne will escort you there now if you want." He informed me.

"Please." I said gathering my bag and coat up.

He nodded and gave me a sympathetic smile. Standing he offered me his hand. As I took hold of it Julienne stood up to lead me to the morgue.

Leaving the office the realization of what had happened hit me and I broke down into tears again. Julienne placed her arm around me and attempted to support me.

After a moment I regained my composure and muttered a sorry to Julienne before she lead me to the elevator to take me to see Lou.

As we exited the lift the cold air from the basement morgue hit me like a wall.

Julienne took my hand and lead me towards a door.

"It will be all right Miss Hanna. Everything works out ok in the end." She said before opening a door for me

From outside I could see a table covered in a white sheet, a figure could be made out from beneath. Two figures stood against the wall waiting for me to enter so they could pull back the sheet for me to identify the body of my sister.

I slowly gathered the courage to enter the room as I did the two figures made their way to the side of the table and took hold of the sheet covering Lou.

I gave them a nod and they each took hold of the sheet before they pulled back the sheet to reveal Lou. Her face was pale and blank. As DCI Harris had said, she had a gash on her forehead which would never heal. It saddened me to see her like this.

"Yes, its her." I whispered not believing the sight I saw before me. Tears filled my eyes and I took hold of her hand, stroking it like I did when she was a baby.

I stayed there for a few minutes just saying how much I would try to look after Jess and how she would always know her mother.

I finally said goodbye and turned to leave the room. As I got to the door and the sheet was being pulled over her once again I turned and said,

"Bye bye sis. I'll miss you."

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**Please review. I have a few more chapters written but ideas are greatly welcomed.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks you to all the people who reviewed on the last chapter, really appreciated thanks!**

** Here you are chapter 15!**

Chapter 15

Zoe.

I was taken back to the station reception and after signing some forms to say that it was Lou and that I would have temporary custody of Jess whilst they tracked down Pete, Lous ex husband I was good to go. I hadn't seen Pete for ages he had left Lou a while ago with no reason just a simple note saying 'bye' and a couple of twenty pound notes that lasted for a few days, he was on the verge of becoming an alcoholic and Lou only stayed with him for the sake of Jess and the fact that he earned all the money they had. It was horrid to have to see Lou go through all the things that happened when he came back late from the pub or didn't come home at all. It was even worse when he left because it meant that Lou had no job and had to pay for everything. It was much worse when I saw Lou's body with all the life knocked out of it.

I had no time to think about anything.

By the time that I had finished everything I needed to do it was 7 and sun was streaming through the blinds. As I waited for someone to take me home a female uniformed officer came up to me.

"Miss Hanna?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Would you like to come with me, we have child protection in now and they would like a word with you if that is ok."

"Now?" I confirmed and she nodded.

"Ok," I replied and followed her through another maze of corridors into a huge office space with four or five separate workstations.

"Miss Hanna, this is Mr Philips. He is now Jess' care worker." The officer in uniform said as she pointed towards a young man with glasses in a suit.

"Hello Miss Hanna, its nice to meet you. Please take a seat." The man who was Mr Philips said, he had a soft caring voice that made him sound trustworthy.

I sat on a seat opposite him and the uniformed officer walked off.

"Now, Miss Hanna. Do you have any idea where Peter Kings could be?" he asked leaning on a desk next to him.

"No, he left my sister a while ago with nothing but a note saying 'bye'" I replied wondering why they were asking me. I had already told them.

"O.k. well at the moment we unfortunately haven't been able to track him down yet so we need to find out what guardianship arrangements Lou had in place for Jess if something happened to herself. Do you know what they were?" he explained.

"No, but she wouldn't have wanted Pete looking after her." I said.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Pete was on the verge of being an alcoholic, he left with no trace and hasn't bothered to contact her or Jess in months. When he was around he was either at work, in the pub or not caring about Jess a tiny bit."

"Alright, that's a fair comment Miss Hanna. We still need to find somewhere for Jess to stay for a bit until we can either track down Pete or find out what Lous guardianship arrangements were. Could she stay at your parents?"

"She could but she would be better off at mine, she has her own room, playroom, bathroom there. She is also very happy there." I said.

"If you're sure you don't mind I see no reason she cant stay with you for now." He said. "Do our parents know or do you need someone to call them?"

"I need to tell them. I just can't." I said wiping my eyes to get rid of the tears that were welling up there.

"I can get someone to call them if you want." He said.

"Please. Then can I go home?" I asked.

"Of course. I'll get someone to make a call to them now and then I will arrange for someone to take you home. I will see you soon Miss Hanna." He said standing up and shaking my hand before walking out of the room.

Julienne walked in as he left, after a warming and encouraging smile she showed me the way back to reception and waited with me whilst another uniformed officer came to take me home.


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry for the slow update I've just got back at school and I've been so busy.L Here you are… Chapter 16.**

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Chapter 16.

Zoe.

Whilst I was waiting for someone to take me home I got a text from Ash asking me if everything was ok, and telling me that Jess was up and he had taken her to the children's ward for the day. I smiled. I was so lucky to have him and I was just hopeful that he would stick around and help me get through this. If I did end up with Jess, I would need him to help me cope. I needed him now.

Once I had been taken home I grabbed some of my thing for work and set off in my car to get to the hospital. I wasn't on shift today but I wanted to be at work and keep myself busy.

As I got to the hospital it was nearly 11 o'clock and an ambulance was arriving and Ash was running out of the doors to meet it. I stayed in my car until he had gone in. I didn't need him asking questions right now even if I needed his comfort.

I walked straight through reception and into my office shutting the door behind me. As I turned around I saw that Tess was in there already. I screamed slightly before I realized who it was.

"Oh my god!" I said, "You gave me a fright! What are you doing in here?" I asked.

"Getting a file." She replied as I sat down on my chair. "You aren't even supposed to be in today. What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I can't face being alone right now. My parents are going to call me and I'm going to end up in a right state. I need to see Ash and have him not ask me any questions just sit with me whilst I cry." I said and burst into tears as I finished.

"Zoe? Are you alright?" Tess asked.

I just shock my head and whispered "I need Ash." She left the office and shut the door slowly behind her as she did.

Moments later it burst open again and Ash stood there looking concerned. I looked up at him for a moment before letting my head drop to my hands and crying once again.

Ash rushed over to me letting the door bang shut.

"Oh Zoe… I'm so sorry." He said lifting me up, sitting in my chair and putting me on his lap. I curled up and just sobbed.

I hated sympathy but I needed him to help.

"It's not fair. Why was it her? Why Lou? Why not someone without a family who they care about? Why?" I cried out.

He soothed me and stroked my hair. "I know Zoe. But listen to me, we will get through this, you need to stay strong ok. Stay strong for Jess, stay strong for me."

I slowly stopped crying hysterically and calmed down. It had however not gone unnoticed that I was in my office having a mental breakdown and now the door was crowded with people staring in wondering what was up. Tess was trying her best to get them to go away but it wasn't working so Ash yelled at them to go away, after a few moments they dispersed and the door was shut again.

"Sorry Ash, sorry. It just became all too much. I couldn't handle it anymore." I said.

"Did you see her?" he asked.

"Yeah, I couldn't have let my parents do it. It was horrible Ash, she was so pale. I see dead bodies here all the time; it isn't the same when you are the relative of the patient identifying the body of the one you love." I explained as he hugged me.

"Its fine. You did the hard part. You need to just relax and try to take in everything that has happened before calling you parents." He said stroking my hair.

I just nodded. I had lost the ability to speak. I just sat there on his lap whilst he held me telling me it was going to be all right.

A short while later the phone did ring. Ash answered it and passed it to me, I just put it on speaker, not bothered if he heard the conversation.

"Its them." He whispered.

"Hi mum, hi dad." I choked out.

"Zoe. We just got a call from Holby police station saying Lou had died. Tell me it's not true." My mum said tears making her stumble over her words.

"Sorry mum." I said tears now springing back into my own eyes.

"No…" my mum whispered almost inaudibly.

"Zoe, what about Jess?" my dad asked. He was not quite as upset as my mum but I could tell he had been crying.

"She was with me. She's at the hospital now." I said.

"Why?" my dad asked.

"I work there dad. Where else am I supposed to have her when I work?" I said.

"She could have come to us. Let her come to us. We can have her until it's all sorted." My mum said.

"No. She is fine with Ash and I. She is happy. If she goes to live with you it is more change for her. She spends loads of time with us, she is best at ours." I said before realizing that my parents didn't even know I had a boyfriend let alone that I was living with him.

"Who's Ash?" my mother asked, suddenly not upset anymore.

"He's my boyfriend mum." I explained.

"And you're living together? How long has this been going on?" she demanded.

"I'm not a child mum. I can do what I want." I said. Ash was trying not to say anything whilst I was saying this. It was like I was a teenager again, defying my parents.

"Before I let my granddaughter live with him I need to meet him. For all I know he could be a sex offender or a drug dealer. You have bought home some real odd boyfriends in the past Zoe. I need to meet him, as does your father." She demanded, protective of Jess.

"Of course lets decide how quick you can get here. How about tonight? You can stay here for a few days get things sorted out." I asked.

"Of course as long as its ok with 'Ash'."

"Its fine with me Mrs Hanna." Ash called out to my mother.

"Is that him?" she asked.

"Yes it is and you were on speaker so he has heard everything. Now I'll see you later. I need to go and get Jess." I said and I hung up.

Ash let out a suppressed giggle and came over to hug me.

"Ahhhh. They annoy me so much." I said, "Why cant they just let me live my own life."

"Because they care Zoe." He replied. "I care."

"Look if you don't want to move in yet its fine. You didn't bargain to get Jess as well as me." I said hoping he would still move in. I loved him so much and didn't want to loose him because of my crazy family.

"I love you so much Zo. I also love Jess. I would love to move in still. You are the love of my life Zoe Hanna and I don't care if I have to help you raise Jess without her mum because you wont be her mum, but you will be all she has to look up to." He said kissing me on the check.

"But what if she has to go back to her dad. Or she goes to my parents. I don't know how I will cope if I don't get her. She is my sisters' legacy and all she had. I want to take care of her. Not let some drunk, druggie have his daughter back." I said.

"Zo, you are the best person to look after her. The judges will see that. Jess loves you, you love Jess. Nothing else matters. You can care for her, your niece, not even your own child, better than anyone I know who has children." He said reassuringly.

"I love you so much Martin, you know that right."

"I do Zo. I do."

We just stayed like that for a few moments.

"It's Ash, not Martin, Ash." He added and we giggled.

"Look I need to go and get Jess. I'll see you at home?" I asked.

"I'll see you at home but only because I am taking the rest of the day off and moving into your house properly." He said smiling.

I smiled back. He was going to stay.

As we left my office he put his hand into mine and squeezed it tight, I was glad of the support and squeezed it back. As I went to the lift to find Jess I kept my head down. I could tell people were looking at me and whispering to each other, forming their own opinions. Tess and Sam came over and Tess gave me a big hug. Sam just said she was sorry and then Jeff and Dixie came rushing through the door with Ian the new paramedic and she ran off to help. Tess stayed with me andAsh for a few moments whilst we waited for the lift then she went off wishing me luck and saying that everything turns out all right in the end.

When we got to the childrens ward the nurse who Ash had droped Jess off with earlier came over to us.

"You're here early. I didn't think you were going to be here for at least another few hours." She said in her chirpy voice.

"Sorry. Somethings come up." Ash said knowing I wouldn't be able to speak. I felt the tears coming to my eyes again as Jess ran down the corridor towards Ash and I. She was so like Lou, her hair, her eyes, everything. It was like I was seeing the ghost of my sister as a child. I kneelt down and she ran into my arms. Ash did the same and she laughed and said we were making a Jess sandwich. This made me laugh to and I felt a bit better.

Ash stood up and thanked the nurse for keeping an eye on her, I stood up lifting Jess up into my arms and we walked out of the hospital, me carrying Jess and Ash and mine hands entwined.

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**Let me know your thoughts! They are greatly appreciated. **


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello again!**

**(Note this chapter contains more than one p.o.v. when the p.o.v. changes the person whose name the p.o.v. comes from is in bold.)**

**This is a kind of long chapter to make up for the gap that I haven't updated this story in.**

**I'll try to update as often as I can but I have tons of homework at the moment so no promises.**

**Here you are…**

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**Chapter 17**

**Zoe.**

When we got home I realized that I needed to go to the shops and get some food in before my parents came round that night. I hadn't got anything in so Ash volunteered to go to the shops. I didn't want to be left alone so it ended up with all three of us going.

"What are we going to have then?" he asked me.

"What would you like Jess? Grandma and Grandpa are coming for dinner." I asked the little girl who was enjoying being pushed around the shop in the trolley.

"Pizza." She answered. The standard answer she gave to anything.

"How about salmon pasta?" I asked Ash.

"Sounds good to me babe." He said pushing Jess over to the fishmongers' section.

"That was simple." I said following him.

We got back to the house and I started cooking trying to do anything to keep myself busy and not think about Lou. Ash took Jess back to his house to keep her out of my way so I could cook and he could pack. By about 5:30 they got back with a few bags and a box. He placed them in our room then went to play with Jess in the playroom.

My parents arrived at 6 as they had texted me earlier to say. They hugged me as they walked in the door and I introduced them to Ash.

"Mum, dad." I said as I opened the door, "Ash, Jess," I called to the playroom as I took their coats and hung them in the closet.

"Zoe, darling. Are you all right?" my mum asked above the sound of Jess running through the corridor to see them.

"I'm fine mum. Ash has been great. You'll love him to." I replied, reassuring her.

"Mr and Mrs Hanna. It is a pleasure to meet you. I'm Martin Ashford, Zoe's boyfriend. " Ash said as he shook hands with my dad and gave my mum a kiss on the check.

"It's nice to meet you too. I wish we could have met under different circumstances but anyway… it's nice to be introduced." My mum said.

"Martin." My dad said.

"Please. Everyone calls me Ash, even Zoe." Ash replied, picking Jess up, who was tugging at his feet.

We went into the lounge and Jess opened the Barbie doll my parents had bought her.

Ash was trying to undo the Barbie from its casing, cursing in whispers under his breath about all the plastic toggles he had jus got rid of after Ella and he was now starting again with Jess. At this my dad started to ask Ash about Ella.

"So Martin, you have a daughter."

"Ash please," Ash insisted, he was getting annoyed, he hated being called Martin.

"Ash," my dad corrected unwillingly.

"Yes, I have a daughter, Ella, she is sixteen in a few weeks." He replied happier.

"Really, what about Ella's mother?" my dad asked.

"We split up when Ella was about six, she had an affair with one of the nurses I worked with." Ash coughed slightly, I could sense that it was a sensitive subject.

"Right." My dad replied then walked out to go to the loo.

The rest of us sat there in an awkward silence for a few moments before Jess moaned that she was hungry.

"Auntie Zoe." she looked up at me, her large brown eyes melting my heart.

"Yes baby,"

"I'm hungry."

"Shall we go and have some dinner then?" I asked her cheerfully.

"Yay!" she cheered standing up.

"Come on then." I replied taking her hand and letting her lead me to the kitchen.

**Ash.**

Left alone in the lounge with Zoe's mother was the last thing I wanted to happen so when I made an effort to get up I wasn't expecting her to grab my shoulder and pull me back to the sofa again.

"I was going to help Zoe get the dinner ready." I explained.

"I know, and you can go in a moment. I just want to make sure that you wont take advantage of Zoe at this time. It is hard on her. Lou was her best friend growing up, not just her sister. Promise me you wont take advantage of her and … oh I don't know, get her pregnant or something." She said throwing her hands in the air.

I was confused at this last comment. Wasn't Zoe infertile, if so why was her mum worried about me getting her pregnant? I decided not to mention it now but ask Zoe about it later, if she was lying to her parents there had to be a reason why.

"Mrs Hanna, I would never take advantage of your daughter, I love her too much to do that. Her, Ella and Jess are the three most important people in my life right now and hope that it will stay that way for a long time, if not forever." I said honestly.

"I trust you, but if something happens to Zoe and it's your fault… I've already lost one daughter from the events of a bad relationship another to a car crash less then twenty-four hours ago. She's all I've got left. Don't do anything to her." she warned then stood up and went to help Zoe in the kitchen.

I sat there dazed for a moment thinking about what had just happened. Zoe was lying to her parents and he didn't know why, her mother was talking about loosing two daughters and then threatening me. I was confused but decided to ponder on it later. Now was the time for dinner.

**Zoe.**

Where was Ash? I thought he had followed me into the kitchen but he didn't show up, then my mum came through the door and my dad came back from the toilet. Jess was sitting in her booster seat and my parents were chatting to her when Ash finally came through the door.

"Where have you been?" I asked him as he came over, wrapping his hands around my waist and kissing my neck.

"I got talking with your mother then I sat down to think about what she said and I have some questions to ask you later." He said.

I was puzzled. What did my mum say to him that he had questions about.

"What questions?" I asked.

"I'll ask you them later. Don't worry its nothing serious and you don't have to answer them." He said registering the puzzled look on my face.

I decided to take his word for it and

Served up the dinner onto plates.

The conversation at the table was focused on Jess and she was enjoying being the centre of attention. She was laughing, joking and showing off. Just like any five year old. This made me feel sad. Lou would never see Jess grow up. Jess would grow up and memories of her mother would fade and she would rely on photographs. It saddened me as I thought of telling her that her mother was up with the angels in heaven. I had no-idea how I was going to tell her and for that reason and that reason alone I was glad my parents were here to help.

After dinner my parents went into the lounge to watch a film short with Jess, whilst Ash and I did the washing up.

"Are you going to ask me those questions now?" I asked.

"No, you'll have to wait." He replied throwing bubbles at my face.

"Oi!" I shouted back and threw some back.

Washing up abandoned a mixture of bubble and water fight was taken up. By the time we had used all the bubbles up and the sink was nearly empty we were both soaked, laughing with each other.

A cough came from the door and I saw my mum standing there not looking impressed.

"Zoe. Have you two finished?" she asked, hands on hips.

"Nearly mum." I answered.

"The film has and Jess would like a bath. Shall I finish here and you can go and give it to her?" she asked.

Why was she so annoying? She had to take the fun out of everything.

"Sure. Ash, come on." I said somewhat coldly, and pulled him with me upstairs.

Ash and I gave Jess her bath and put her to bed. She was tired and fell asleep quickly. After changing out of our wet clothes and into more casual ones we made our way downstairs.

We entered the lounge where my mum and dad were sitting in silence watching the titanic. We cuddled up together and watched the end with them, drinking wine, beer and whatever else I had in the cupboards.

When the film had finished my parents went up to bed in one of the spare rooms whilst Ash and I sat cuddled together for a few minutes.

We went up to bed at around eleven and I finally had the chance to ask Ash about those questions he had for me.

"So, you said you had some questions." I said as I undressed.

"I did." He replied.

"Ask away then."

"Please don't hate me if I'm wrong but your mum said if I took advantage of you and got you pregnant then I would have her to answer to, this I understood. What I didn't understand was the fact that I didn't think you could get pregnant." He said slowly.

I felt sick inside. I had been lying to my parents for years, thinking I would never settle down and have to face the fact I couldn't have children. By letting my parents think I could, helped me stay positive. I hadn't told Ash I could have kids, how did he know?

"I can't. But how do you know?" I asked looking away from him.

"I heard Tess and Sam talking about it. They were talking mainly about the fact you were so good with Jess and then Tess mentioned how it was sad that you could never have a family." He explained.

"Right." I answered. "Do you mind?" I asked

"No Zoe. I love you, just because you can't have kids doesn't make me not love you. You are everything to me Zoe Hanna and I want to spend the rest of my life with you no matter what happens I will always stay by your side and help you through it. You and me, together." He said coming to sit behind me.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really." He replied.

"I love you Ash." I said kissing him.

"I know."

"The reason my parents don't know about me being infertile is because they were so pleased when Jess was born they wanted more grandkids and they were pressurising me to settle down with someone. I was with Nick at the time and I tried everything, IVF, these weird herbal remedies. Nothing worked. Then Nick and I broke up and I just couldn't tell them. . My mum lost her first child when she was in her late twenties. It was before she met my dad and she was married to another man, who abused her. Their daughter Fee got in the way of his abuse when she was just four. It was a year before my parents met and they had me. My mum was so protective of me when I was younger and still is. My mother believing I can still give her a happy family makes me believe it too, even though I know it's not true. Its stupid I know" I explained cuddling into his arms under the duvet.

"Its not stupid." He replied.

"I love you Ash. Thanks for today."

"No worries. I love you." He replied.

He lent to the bedside lamp and turned it off, plunging the room into darkness and we fell asleep. I was wrapped in his arms and I felt safe. All my troubles disappeared and I fell into a deep sleep with the man I loved.

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**Next chapter will be up as soon as I can write it.**

**Hope you like it… leave me a review please!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi. **

**Please review this chapter.**

**Chapter 18 for you! **

**Chapter 18.**

**Zoe.**

The next day I woke up late. It was around 10am and Ash wasn't next to me. I had a quick shower, got dressed into a short red dress, dried and straightened my hair and did my make up before I went downstairs ready for work. I had forgotten my parents were here and what had happened yesterday. As I went into the kitchen and saw Ash cooking bacon and egg sandwiches, my parents sitting at the table reading the newspaper and Jess doing some colouring on the floor I remembered everything… no work, Lou dead, parents over, Jess.

I walked over to where Ash was and kissed him good morning, helping him with the bacon and egg sandwiches I tried not to cry. Throughout the time we were eating the only one to talk was Jess. She was talking about school and all her friends. She sounded like she wanted to go back.

School wasn't due to start for five more days. I was dreading having to phone the school and sort out everything for Jess. I was also dreading telling Jess what had happened. I had decided to do that today.

After breakfast I mentioned it to my mother and when she agreed to me telling her I got Ash to bring Jess into the playroom.

"Hi Zoe!" she said as Ash carried her in.

"Hi Jess. I need to tell you something." I started motioning for Ash to stay.

"Yes." She replied and started to play with her dolls house.

"Can you come and sit with Ash and I please baby." I said patting the sofa between where Ash and I were perched.

She launched herself there and looked at me expectantly. Her eyes reminded me so much of Lou.

"This may be a bit sad Jess, but its ok to cry. I have cried lots. Grandma and grandpa have cried lots too."

"What about Ash. Has he cried?"

"Yes Jess I have." Ash said, the sadness present in his voice as well. He and Lou had got to know each other well since I had started dating him.

"Jess, sweetheart. Mummy has gone to live with the angels." I said hugging her tightly. My attempt at holding back the tears failing.

"Can we go and visit her?" she asked.

"No baby. Mummy has gone. We can't go and see her but she can see us." I said wiping away the tears from my eyes.

Jess didn't reply. She just buried her head in my chest and hugged me back. Then she pulled Ash in and we sat there me sobbing, Ash's eyes watering and Jess in between us holding us together.

For the rest of that day Ash played with Jess whilst I helped my parents' sort out the funeral arrangements. It was a hard day and lots of tears were involved. I was given the hardest task of calling all our family members to let them know what had happened. The worst phone call was to my cousin who knew Lou very well, as they had gone to the same school when they were younger. I sometimes wondered if Jamie had known Lou better than me, he was the one who she would go to if she was in trouble, the one who knew all her secrets. He was devastated at the news of her death and offered his help in anyway possible.

At around 5 the house phone rang and Ash answered it.

"Hello. Who is it?" he said into the receiver, "Zoe, here she is." And he passed the phone to me, covering the speaker he said, "its CPS."

I took the phone from his grasp and left the room taking him with me. When we got to the deserted study I put the phone on speaker so he could hear what was being said.

"Hi, Zoe speaking."

"Hi Zoe its Mr. Philips from Holby CPS. I was wanting to talk to you about Louisa Hanna's daughter Jessica Phoebe Kings." He said, I recognised his kind and trusting voice from the day before.

"Hanna." I corrected.

"Sorry, Jessica Phoebe Hanna, can we talk?"

"Of course. I have you on speaker and my partner is the only one who can here this." I said.

"Right. I wanted you to know that we found Peter Kings this morning."

"Where?" I asked a shiver going down my spine.

"He was found during a drugs raid on a friends house. He is now under arrest and in Holby's station waiting questioning. I was just calling to let you know that if he is found guilty of aid in this drugs inquiry it is unlikely he will be granted custody of Jess. If he isn't, then he can take you to court and demand that you give him his daughter."

"Right, and what happens till then?"

"Jessica stays with you or she goes into temporary foster care."

"She can stay with me," I replied, glancing at Ash to make sure that it was ok with him first, he nodded.

"Ok then. I'll call if there is anymore news." He answered and hung up.

"Are you sure Ash?" I asked putting the phone back on the hook in the hall.

"I'm sure Zoe. Jess knows us so well and anyone can see she is better with us than in foster care. I love her so much. Almost as much as you!" he teased. Wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me up kissing me lightly.

I was giggling as we went into the kitchen hand in hand, I soon stopped though as we were greeted by the death stare from my mother.

"That was CPS. They found Pete." I said, watching my mothers face drop.

"What are they going to do about Jess? No way is she going to him." My father said.

"She's going to stay with Ash and I for now. Pete was arrested last night for drugs."

My mother didn't seem happy.

"She will stay with me and your father and that is that."

"Mum, she's staying with me." I said, more forcefully.

"Really Zoe. You don't want a kid to weigh you down." She reasoned.

"I have a great job, a great boyfriend and I want to look after my niece who is pretty much orphaned. Why can't you be happy for me?"

She didn't reply to this, just walked out of the room shortly followed by my dad.

I had no idea why she was so desperate to have Jess. I thought it was just the fact that she had lost Lou and wanted a part of her still, grief was like that. Another part of me felt that when Fee died she was four, just younger than Jess; maybe she wanted to replace her guilt from loosing Fee in helping bring up Jess.

I didn't really know and I didn't really care.

The rest of the day continued with me continuing to phone people and planning the funeral. I was going back to work tomorrow as was Ash, Jess was going to spend the day with me and my parents were going back home. I was looking forward to their departure.

**I** **know this was really bad but the next one will be better hopefully and be up ASAP. Review please, I don't know if you are reading this and if I should carry on if you don't.**


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